So Many Doors!

                          
So Many Doors!

“A hard thing is done by figuring out how to start.” – Rand Fishkin, SEOmoz

Rand Fiskin pointed out rightly so that in life hard things are figured out by knowing where to start. I have always been a dreamer. I used to spend hours setting up my army men all over the kitchen table. I would have the whole story figured out. I would identify where the weak areas were in the game scenario and try to build up defenses on both sides. I would find scenarios I thought would be challenging to know what to do (hostages or a surprise attack) and I would try to work out in my mind what and how I would play. I literally would set things up all day long until it was perfect. Finally, you would think (as a child) I would desire to go through the scenario and "play" but I seldom would. After every scenario had been conceived and thought through there was no point for me to play it I had created a picture in my mind and I would not ever start.

There are a few principles I have come to think about within this idea. I thought of these principles as I went through a power point pdf about entrepreneurship. Within this slide there was a slide that had a lot of doors on it. Each door was labeled a different way to be an entrepreneur. Atop the page the sentence read "What door will you go through?" My answer: I - D-O-N-T - K-N-O-W.

Like that little boy I enjoy the scenarios and the challenge of thinking it up. I am what is stated in the e-myth as an Entrepreneur (Although I do have a little manager in me). I have little if any technician in me though not because I can't do it but because I would rather manage and plan things out or dream.

So the question remains what door will I choose? And yet.. I still have no solid answer. I think for the time being I will pick inside each and every door and see if there is one that feels right. I wish that I had some deep dark plan for the rest of my life but I like to dream and think of the many things I can do "when I grow up." One day I think it would be cool to backpack across the country the next I want to go to Stanford or Purdue to get my MBA and teach. I don't know what door I am going to choose so I think I will simply walk down the hall and hop out the window.

I suppose it is hard for me to want to go through any door because a door is something someone else has left to welcome and greet or leave other behind and say "goodnight." I do not want to walk into someone elses' door I want to walk outside into the wilderness and create my own world with my own door wherever that may be.

As for my $100 challenge I am still at $0 raised. I wish there was a remedy for many moods of an entrepreneur. Some days I think my ideas are genius and the next I don't think anything will work or I lack the motivation to put my ideas into motion. I blame it one laziness. Its not. I am scared to fail. I am also horrible at managing my time. Perhaps, I am OCD enough that I procrastinate most things in life not because I am lazy but because I want to properly student and do all that is required. Teachers have never allowed me time adequate for what I feel is my full potential so year after year I struggle intrinsically as I submit assignments or perform what will be considered adequate but never my best.

I always have lofty goals of being the best and doing better than anyone else. This same attitude haunts me for the $100 challenge. I do not know how to "figure" out how to start. 

I have learned a lot this weak and have been doing a lot of self reflection. Which door?